iPOD CITY GUIDES

I travel. I photograph. I write.
And now I even share. Christ, I'm generous. So what are you waiting for? I've already done the ground work. Download a free iPod City Guide and find out where to sleep, eat, drink, and sightsee.


It's simple:

1. Download
2. Install
3. Read
4. Go
5. Donate

CITIES

iPODS

Apple 30 GB iPod AAC/MP3 Video Player Black (5.5 Generation) iPod Video
30 GB Black iPods available now.

Apple 30 GB iPod Video AAC/MP3 Player White (5.5 Generation) iPod Video
30 GB White iPods available now.

HEAR

Super Best The Blue Hearts
Paired punk and politics to become Japan's answer to the Clash.

Wolf Rock! Guitar Wolf
Rockabilly meets speed metal meets jet engine.

Love Psychedelico - Greatest Hits Love Psychedelico
Their debut album. Frequently catchy. Occasionally English.

Kanjysei Outou Seyo Eastern Youth
Legendary Japanese indie rockers overdue for a U.S. breakthrough.

Cheap Trick At Budokan: The Complete Concert Cheap Trick at Budokan
The best live album of all time. Yes, seriously.

WATCH

Tokyo Drifter (Criterion Collection Spine #39) Tokyo Drifter
A pouting gangster wanders Japan to avoid being executed.

Stray Dog - Criterion Collection Stray Dog
A detective tracks down a stolen pistol in Kurosawa's classic film noir.

Tokyo Story - Criterion Collection Tokyo Story
Ozu's masterpeice regularly graces critics' All-Time Best lists.

Harakiri - Criterion Collection Harakiri
An ANGRY samurai enacts revenge over the needless death of his son-in-law.

Onibaba - Criterion Collection Onibaba
Chilling visuals and a macabre score intensify this tale of a cursed mask.

Blind Beast Blind Beast
A blind sculptor kidnaps a shapely model in this strangely erotic thriller.

Blade Runner (The Director's Cut) Blade Runner
Shinjuku provided the inspiration for Ridley Scott's futuristic LA.

Black Rain (Special Collector's Edition) Black Rain
Or how a puffy-faced Michael Douglas learned to stop worrying and love Japan.

READ

Araki: Tokyo Lucky Hole (Klotz) Tokyo Lucky Hole
Is Nobuyoshi Araki a dirty old man or a genius photographer? Have fun deciding.

Speed Tribes: Days and Night's with Japan's Next Generation Speed Tribes
A study of 12 Japanese living on the fringe of their conformist society.

Pink Box: Inside Japan's Sex Clubs Pink Box
A vivid, behind-the- scenes glimpse into Tokyo’s imaginative sex industry.

Love Hotels: The Hidden Fantasy Rooms of Japan Love Hotels
Tokyo's wildest and most outlandish by-the-hour hotel rooms.

Tokyo Underworld: The Fast Times and Hard Life of an American Gangster in Japan Tokyo Underworld
The rise of organized crime through the eyes of an American hood.

Ugly Americans: The True Story of the Ivy League Cowboys Who Raided the Asian Markets for Millions Ugly Amerians
A true story of greedy expatriates and the millions they bilked from Asian financial markets.

MAVO: Japanese Artists and the Avant-Garde, 1905-1931 (Twentieth-Century Japan: The Emergence of a World Power) Mavo
A critical study of Japan's avant-garde art movement in the 1920s.

The Dark Side: Infamous Japanese Crimes and Criminals The Dark Side
Japan's most infamous crimes. And you just know they're gonna be bizarre.

SPEAK

Outrageous Japanese: Slang, Curses & Epithets (Tuttle Language Library) Outrageous Japanese
All the slang, expletives and anatomical nicknames you'll need to speak potty mouth in a 2nd language.

Japanese I - 3rd Ed.: Learn to Speak and Understand Japanese with Pimsleur Language Programs (Comprehensive) Pimsleur Level 1
Load this course onto your iPod and begin learning Japanese simply by listening.

Japanese II - 2nd Ed.: Learn to Speak and Understand Japanese with Pimsleur Language Programs (Comprehensive) Pimsleur Level 2
Level 1 too easy for you? Here's more listening and more learning.

Japanese III - 2nd Ed.: Learn to Speak and Understand Japanese with Pimsleur Language Programs (Pimsleur Language Program) Pimsleur Level 3
If you haven't paid a visit to Japan by this point, what the fuck you waiting for?

Tokyo Category Archive

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Japan Launches Campaign To Unsettle Tourists

Yokoso.jpg

Japan's tourism authority recently unveiled its latest advertising campaign, Yokoso! Japan (Welcome to Japan!). Efforts include this 'Welcome to Japan!' illustration awaiting tourists at Tokyo's Narita airport.

The poster attempts to familiarize visitors with the traditional Japanese reaction to foreigners− scowling in a thoroughly sour manner followed by the slow but deliberate unveiling of a weapon.

Older or more formal Japanese may further punctuate this greeting by spitting into your eye. Although some regional variations exist. For instance, in Northern Japan the spitting is generally substituted with a punch in the throat. While residents of Japan's Southern island of Kyushu are more inclined to urinate onto your person.

Previously, Narita airport employed live greeters to intimidate intruders welcome visitors in person. However, following the economic downturn, arrivals have had to make due instead with these illustrations.

Other posters in the Yokoso! Japan series depict a geisha flicking a tourist's ear with her thumb and forefinger, and the emperor tearing a backpacker a new a-hole.


Posted on June 07, 2007 11:42 AM
Permalink | Comments (159)

 

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Sicko Store Surprisingly Attentive To My Needs

FetishWorld.JPG

I recently paid a visit to Akihabara to pick-up a DVD player. As one might expect, I quickly followed up this purchase with a visit to the nearest porn shop. An unimaginable selection of DVDs awaited me inside Fetish World. All neatly sorted by genre, including, but not limited to:

Pooping
Bald Women
Rubber/PVC
Bondage
Women Who Smoke
Nose Yanking
Uniforms
(schoolgirl, nurse, cheerleader, 7/11 employee)
Genitalia Abuse (slicing with razors and rubbing with salt)
Feet (smelling, sucking, or simply watching pump piano pedals)
Women Stomping Bugs (also watermelons, ukeleles)

And, on the unlikelihood of finding Fetish World lacking, they even provided a guest book at the entrance for comments and suggestions. The diminutive gentleman ahead of me left this polite request for plus++ sized fish-net stockings.

Fetish World 3-1-15 Sotokanda, Chiyoda-ku, +81.03.5298.6140

Posted on April 24, 2007 2:26 PM
Permalink | Comments (557)

 

Monday, April 23, 2007

Barbie Complains Japanese Dolls Setting Impossibly High Standard

Barbie.JPG

In a further blow to Barbie's self-esteem, Ken announces surprise move to Tokyo, citing his growing dissatisfaction with nipple-less boobs.

Posted on April 23, 2007 10:48 AM
Permalink | Comments (489)

 

Thursday, April 19, 2007

You Scream, I Scream, We All Scream For Whale Flesh

Kujiraya.jpg

Let me say right off that I do not advocate the consumption of whale meat (battered nor otherwise).

Firstly, you do not get to select your kill from a giant tank of fresh whales. Apparently, the majestic beast was slaughtered far, far away from my table (they really should have made this clear when I called to make the reservation).

Secondly, whales do not taste like chicken. More like beef that has been left to soak overnight in a bucket of chum.

Kujiraya 2-29-22 Dogenzaka +81.3.3461.9145

Posted on April 19, 2007 11:47 PM
Permalink | Comments (585)

 

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Choco. Party. Good! Good!

Attended an office party last night. There was plenty of booze and food, including some of the chocolate variety. Sadly, no heaving bosoms.

The point is that I'm feeling lazy today. So make do with something old but good, good.

Posted on April 18, 2007 11:35 PM
Permalink | Comments (475)

 

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Choco. Party. Good! Good!

Attended an office party last night. There was plenty of booze and food, including some of the chocolate variety. Sadly, no heaving bosoms.

The point is that I'm feeling lazy today. So make do with something old but good, good.

Posted on April 18, 2007 11:35 PM
Permalink | Comments (475)

 

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Japanese Man Masters Obsolete Animation Technique

This guy has talent. May lack girlfriend.

Posted on April 17, 2007 11:39 PM
Permalink | Comments (224)

 

Monday, April 16, 2007

Toilets Tire Of Being Shit On All The Time, Exact Revenge

Toilet.jpg

High-tech toilet manufacturer Toto Ltd., has admitted more than two dozen instances of malfunctioning thrones. Unfortunate victims reported seats which began giving off smoke, and, in three extreme cases, actually went up in flames.

At this point, you're asking yourself just how the fuck a toilet catches fire. Aren't they all just porcelain, plastic and water?

Not here in Japan.

Japanese toilets are incredibly sophisticated, with features such as multi-stream bidets, temperature controlled seating, ambient lighting, and blow-drying action. Of course, these are just the standard options. A fully tricked-out Toto toilet (model S5000 in Cotton White) recently defeated Garry Kasparov in a best-of-seven chess series.

So this latest development comes as no surprise to those of us dumping in the land of the rising sun. It was really just a matter of time before the toilet learned to fight back.

Toto is scrambling to rectify the situation with free checks and repairs for all affected model numbers. I highly recommend you take them up on their offer.

Posted on April 16, 2007 11:54 PM
Permalink | Comments (275)

 

Friday, April 13, 2007

Japan Responds To North Korean Threat With Love, Silly Hat


Posted on April 13, 2007 11:03 PM
Permalink | Comments (110)

 

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Japanese Hospital To Offer 'Gently Used' Babies

Baby-Hatch.jpg

Jikei Hospital in Japan has begun installation of the country's first 'baby hatch'. Once launched, bored mothers will be able to deposit their unwanted babies in complete anonymity. The hatch comes furnished with incubator, monitoring camera, and fire-extinguishing sprinkler. It is hoped the device will save the social lives of countless young women each year.

In response, the Salvation Army announced they would one-up the hospital with their own plan to accept donations of both newborns and elderly. Explained Etsuo Susuki, Salvation Army Lieutenant Tokyo Prefecture, "We aim to be a one-stop drop-off for all your parental and filial obligations".

When asked whether he expected a dramatic increase in foot traffic to their local thrift stores, Lieutenant Suzuki predicted, "brisk" business on the baby end, but "sluggish" sales of the aged given "they can be difficult to retrain and, in all honesty, are not nearly as cute once fully grown".

Retailing analysts offered a more dire forecast, pointing out that Japan currently leads the world in surplus senior citizens.

Ever the optimist, Lieutenant Suzuki noted that the Salvation Army was also facing stockpiles of argyle sweaters, polyester slacks and sensible shoes. Hinting at a possible retail strategy that would see a 3-piece outfit included with every geezer sold.

Posted on April 12, 2007 4:45 PM
Permalink | Comments (98)

 

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Juvenile Humour: Homo Sausage

Homo.jpg

Write your own joke.

Also available (honest injun): Jumbo Homo Sausage, Spicy Homo Sausage

Spotted at 7/11 in ebisu.

Posted on April 11, 2007 11:47 PM
Permalink | Comments (103)